Letters To The Neapolitan Mastiff

Dear (The) Neapolitan Mastiff,

Ima be, Ima be, Ima be, honest. I’ve been in the club lately and I’ve been getting a pretty good amount of swerve on. I’m afraid of getting too much swerve because of what the results may be. I was also wondering, what’s the worst kind of crunk/drunk?

Loyal Reader,

Lamar Wilcox.

Greetings Lamar,

The worst kind of drunk one can achieve is Abu Ghraib drunk. You will wake up in an undisclosed location filled with sadists and a hangover so atrocious you will, without a doubt, swear off drinking… and we wouldn’t want that.

Good Day,

The Neapolitan Mastiff

P.S.

Nazi Germany drunk should also be avoided.

All advice is given from a place of understanding comparable to “in a perfect world.” Rather than using that exact phrase, which is absolutely hammered, Exchanging Pleasantries works from a different school of thinking brought about by a Southern and avante-garde rapper, Lil Wayne. We posit all advice from the premise, “What if Lil Wayne actually did fuck every girl in the World?”


Leave a comment

Filed under Formal Correspondence

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s