Category Archives: Uncategorized

Eavesdrop It Like It’s Hot

“Wow, everything in here’s so old!” Natural History Museum, Los Angeles

“I’ve always wanted to name my daughter Sophie, but I’m afraid of the sophist implications. You know what I mean?” Langer’s, Downtown L.A.

“It was supposed to be a perfectly respectable night of binge drinking. Then Phil showed up with Four Lokos.” Pac Sun, Woodland Hills

“You don’t want it? I’ll take that Free Weezy shirt. Shiiiiit, he’ll be back in two weeks!” PlaBoy Liquor, Hollywood

“I cannot wait to be impotent — I’m sick of being bullied by my pig-headed libido!” AK Bar, Silver Lake

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Protected: I Won’t Forget You, Good Friend

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Eavesdrop It Like It’s Hot

“It’s never too late for a sex change.” La Cita, Downtown LA

“The best judge of a man’s virility is his nose. A nice, broken monstrosity of a nose equals the virility of a stallion. Adrian Brody being the exception.” Margeaux’s Hair Salon, Los Feliz

“I see my career taking a similar trajectory to Jon Hamm’s. I probably won’t do anything until I’m 37.” Hollywood Bowl (Catering Tent), Hollywood

“Drug-abuse? That’s not an excuse for missing breakfast. We had an appointment!” Art’s Deli, Studio City

“I’m just seriously over this recession. Like, can’t we just get over it?!?” Osbrink Agency Open Casting, Universal City

-The Neapolitan Mastiff

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Protected: Words of Wisdom

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Eavesdrop It Like It’s Hot

“Nothing says summer like a tri-tip sandwich and a Coors Light.” Parking Lot At Zuma Beach, Malibu, CA

“I find I prefer shitting at higher elevations, like Colorado.” Home Depot, Glendale, CA

“Evicted him. He was so busy being otherworldly he forgot to pay rent.” Intelligentsia, Silver Lake, CA

“Asian guys sort of get last pick when it comes to women.” LA Fitness, Beverly Hills, CA

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Protected: A Mind I Knew

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Eavesdrop it like it’s hot

“Love In The Time of Chlamydia! It’s the name of my novel!” Solar De Cahuenga, Hollywood

“Life is a bowl of chili.” Kaiser Permanente Hospital, Santa Clarita

“If you can’t go with God, who can you go with?” DMV, Downtown LA

“Did I renew my fishing license? In this economy?!?” Bolsa Chica State Beach, Orange County

“The hardest part of an artist’s existence can be found in between his legs.” Farmer’s Market, Venice Beach

The Neapolitan Mastiff

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Nouvelle Adage

“Women cannot be seminal.”[1]


[1] sem·i·nal   [semuh-nl]  Show IPA

–adjective

1.pertaining to, containing, or consisting of semen.

2.Botany . of or pertaining to seed.

3.having possibilities of future development.

4.highly original and influencing the development of future events: a seminal artist; seminal ideas.

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Nouvelle Adage

~ Buy the girl a thousand drinks and you’ll win her heart ~

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PRESS RELEASE: Exchanging Pleasantries Dips Toe In The Short Film Pool

So there’s a guy, a girl and a diner. There’s a menu and coffees and a waiter. Forks, spoons, cream and sugar. And the guy says something and the girl says something else. Then there’s a reaction. If it’s a love story things go one way; if it’s a tragedy they go the other and if it’s a comedy, well, it’s all delivery anyway so it doesn’t matter what’s actually being said.

After everybody’s reacted you’re either on her side or his side or if you ended up thinking it’s totally stupid then you’re probably thinking about whether a ceiling fan can hold your body weight because you would rather hang yourself than watch that again.

Hugo De Naranja and The Neapolitan Mastiff are putting together a frothy series of shorts.

Be Advised: No one’s going to be thinking about ceiling fans.

-The Neapolitan Mastiff

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